Moiety
by KumikoSaitou
Summary: The moon could give me no comfort. I closed my eyes so I didn't have to see it anymore. It reminded me of him and the forbidden thought I can never say. SasuNaru...


So this is a new oneshot I wrote some nights ago... I know that it's a different pairing than what I did before, but I also said that I'm not into NaruHina anymore... I hope you enjoy it, anyway!

It was slightly inspired by the song "E.T." by Katy Perry, although I prefer the version from Alex Goot. :)

* * *

_Kiss me, K-K-Kiss me_

_Infect me with your love and_

_fill me with your poison_

_Take me, T-T-Take me_

_Wanna be a victim_

_Ready for abduction_

I wave to the others as I leave Ichiraku with a grin on my face that threatens to split my face in half.

But as soon as I turn around, it vanishes. I bury my hands in my pockets and let my shoulders sag forward as I walk away. They don't need to see me like this. No one is supposed to see me like this.

I want to be seen, at all times, as the person that's always laughing. Always grinning and making jokes and being a bit dumb and... just happy.

But the truth is far away from that image that I paint. I'm not ashamed of this side of me, I guess everyone has it. But it's different with me. I won't allow myself to be anything other than a happy-go-lucky kinda guy. At least in front of the others.

The night is warm, it's almost summer. There's a small breeze going through the empty streets, ruffling my hair that's already untidy. Not many people are outside. I guess most of them will be with their family by now, it is pretty late.

I chuckle bitterly to myself, even though I am a bit amused by my thoughts.

It's so fitting that my only piece of family isn't even here anymore, not inside these walls or even close to... home. Although that person has said that he doesn't consider this place his home anymore, maybe never really did. But that's not important, it never was. No, something entirely different has been occupying my mind since that fateful day.

* * *

_I lay in bed, staring outside my window at the moon. With every move that I made I had to wince, because the injuries were still fresh. A normal patient probably wouldn't have been released yet, but I knew why I was. And I didn't care. At least that's what I tell myself._

_Is he looking at the same moon right now? The same sky with the twinkling stars? Or is he only seeing walls around him, imprisoned not only by them, but also by his thoughts?_

_I sigh into the night. The battle I had fought with him was on a completely different level than I had ever fought before. We had been almost evenly matched, strength-wise._

_But our thoughts and feelings had never been more far away. I had told him that I thought of him as a brother, thinking maybe it would make him stay or at least reconsider .I guess, looking back, it wasn't the best simile I could have used, seeing that his real brother was a psychotic that had massacred his whole family and whom he had sworn revenge against. It also wasn't what I was actually feeling, so really... it was no better than a lie._

* * *

It wasn't very far away from Ichiraku to my apartment, but I was walking very slowly. Not deliberately, I was just... thinking.

I had to laugh again. That's a good one, a knucklehead like me thinking, right?

The thing is, I really didn't do it often. I mean, I obviously think all the time, otherwise I wouldn't be living, but real deep thinking? Yeah, that was often only triggered by something big happening, whether it be good or bad. I guess this time it was bad.

Seeing him again, after such a long time... he had changed so much and not at all .I thought I had prepared myself for seeing him again, I thought I knew what would happen and what I would feel..

But nothing could have prepared me for what actually did happen.

All these feelings, so complicated and weird welling up in my chest, it was a shock. Really, I had never been so stunned. I thought I had changed over the years, too. But it seemed, I had not, not even a bit.

_But at that moment, I couldn't have told him the truth. I wanted to, so badly, the words I had prepared were already going up my throat, but... they stayed there, never making it past my lips._

_And it wasn't because I was scared or ashamed or insecure, nothing like that. It was simply because he was not ready for it. It nearly killed me to say nothing, but it wouldn't have been right to say it, not this time, not that place._

_So I stayed quiet and after the battle, I let him go. Well, I guess it wasn't in my power to decide that, because I was unconscious but... still, I was the one who let him go._

_But the horrible truth is..._

* * *

I was finally at my apartment. In front of others, I would call it my home, but that's not what it actually was.

I fished the keys out of my pockets and opened the door, entering the small hallway. No light was on, because there was no one there beside me.

I let the keys fall to the ground, flinching a bit at the sound that it made. In the silence that filled this hallway, it was too loud.

For a while I just stood there, doing nothing. Just staring into space, still thinking.

Outside the window, the few lights from houses that were still lit shined like small stars, showing the nightly image of my hometown. Konoha. I really, really loved this place. I always would, no matter what.

It had hurt me so much in the past, so much that it's actually surprising I didn't hate it. It could've so easily gone the other way. But because I don't believe in fate, I'd like to think it was my decision, my... choice not to despair from the hate but to take strength from the love that I held for this place.

It's only sad that he was unable to make the same decision as me.

I ruffled my hair, finally starting to move. I took my shoes off and walked into the main room that served as bedroom, living room, dining room and kitchen.

I walked over to my bed and let myself fall onto it. Curling up, I stared outside of my window.

Strange that I was here now, exactly in the same position as I was back then.

* * *

_The moon could give me no comfort. It didn't matter what had happened in my life, the moon always shone the same way, whether it was behind a wall of clouds or unrestrained in the night sky._

_I closed my eyes so I didn't have to see it anymore. It reminded me of him._

_It was so quiet. In this room, it had always been quiet. Everybody knows I'm a very loud person, but in here, I was always quiet._

_Maybe because of that, the tears that fell from my eyes were not loud, either. I would never allow anyone to see this weakness in me. But I just couldn't hold it back any longer._

_And the forbidden thought that I had buried in my mind since the fight ended appeared so clearly and unavoidable._

_Why didn't you take me with you?_

_Why must you do this alone? If you couldn't stay, for no reason, why leave me here?_

_Didn't you know that I'm nothing without you? That this place, that I love so much, can only be called home if you're here?_

_And that the horrible truth is, I would've followed you everywhere. It would've destroyed me, torn me apart, nearly killed me for you to have forced me to go with you. Because I wouldn't have gone with you without a fight._

_But it would've been a charade. I wanted to be by your side, everywhere, anywhere._

_It would have been poison for me... but I would have drank it without regret._

* * *

This time there were no tears falling down my cheeks, no bitter questions running through my mind.

I was just laying there, staring at the moon. It still reminded me of him and it still hurt to be thinking of him.

But I was waiting. Just waiting. Waiting for him to come to me.

It might seem like I'm chasing him. But I'm not. Because I know that one day, he will come looking for me.

And I'll be right here waiting.

_This poison... I guess another name I could call it... is love._

* * *

In case you didn't understand, the normal writing is set shortly after Naruto sees Sasuke again after the timeskip, and the cursive is set after their battle at the Valley of the End.

Hope you liked it! :)


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